( for: kaz. )

[wraithes]

[ inej felt exhausted, but pleasantly warm, wrapped in what felt like the softest blankets and a warm wool coat draped over her body. the collar was tucked right against her face, and when she inhaled, it smelled familiar.

darkness, peppermint. a faint hint of licorice. salt, from the waters of the canals. kaz.

she had been too cruel to him. selfish, to herself. some part of her refused to feel bad about that, but when kaz brekker had looked at her, on that island, she knew why. she was what he did not want to lose. she was the thing to be protected. not wylan, jesper. nina, matthias. her. and that thought stirred something within her, a fierce protectiveness.

she needed to get back to kaz . . . but had kaz already found her?

that thought caused her to blink, slowly. her body ached. what had happened? had she escaped van eckt? . . . van eckt. that name caused her to stir, to force her eyes awake, but her body refused to move. trapped, in this perfect nest of warmth. wrapped up in whatever kaz . . .

wait, why did she have kaz brekker's coat? --

her eyes scanned the room, vision slightly blurred. it was a strange room, not hers, not kaz's. not particularly nice, so not the white rose . . . were they even in kirsch? and why did she have kaz's coat? was it kaz's coat?

stiff arms began to move, as she willed it. to pull the coat further down her body, to dig through the pockets, to where she knew he kept his secrets. but the coat was empty, save for a few pieces of loose paper and some change. predictable, inej thought in aggravation. of course the bastard of the fucking barrell would empty his coat before draping it over her for warmth.

somehow, she no longer regretted being blunt with him before her capture. but as emotionally inept as kaz brekker was, he had somehow managed to save her. again. ]

Kaz?

[ she tried to call out, but her voice was a whisper, and she forced herself to sit up just a bit, to get a better look around the room. where was he? ]

Comments

[wraithes]

[ she can tell, in his hesitation, in the tension, in what he isn't saying, that he carries a lot more than relief in his raspy tone. guilt. definitely guilt, peeking through the nonchalance and the dismissiveness, through the forced syllables. and inej knows that kaz is tense, and is (perhaps a bit comically) not moving a single muscle in order to remain a support for her, but also because she is certain he's uncomfortable with the contact.

why. she, of all people, should be afraid of people touching her. she should hate it the most. and she does, to a certain extent. certain things bother her. certain comments. and inej made herself promise, a long time ago, to never allow any man (or woman, for that matter) to take advantage of her again. but kaz feels different. it's a different tension, a different level of comfort, or lacktherof.

what happened to this boy that made him so broken.

still, inej draws in a breath and lifts her head from his shoulder, fingers gently smoothing out a wrinkle in his sleeve before maintaining the distance once more. her entire body aches, and inej knows she should go back to sleep. but she also knows kaz has been waiting here for her to wake up, judging from the circles underneath his eyes and the out-of-character wrinkles in his shirt. his lack of cane at his side.

awkwardly sitting on her bed like (and it hits her with an odd warmth in her chest) an out of touch teenage boy.

she decides, then, to carefully unfold her legs, to stretch them, scooting to the edge of the bed to sit next to kaz properly, letting her own feet touch the floor. it causes an exhale, from the effort, but sitting up to talk to him makes inej feel like more of his equal, and less a helpless little girl waiting for her knight in shining armor. ]

Next time. [ she breathes. ] We barely survived this time. I barely survived this time.

[ but in saying that, inej knows it will only make kaz feel worse, and so she drops her hand next to his own. not touching him, but offering it to him, if he wants to hold it. and she's quiet, for a long moment, sorting through her thoughts. through the ache in her ribs. ]

He asked a lot of questions about you. [ read: they tortured her. ] I answered none of them. [ would that make him feel better? likely not. inej isn't sure, anymore, what makes kaz brekker happy. she supposes she never did. but business is easy to focus on, and easy to talk about. ] I only told them that you would come for me, and there would be hell to pay for breaking a deal with Kaz Brekker. He laughed in my face and told me that Kaz Brekker had no more tricks. No more money. No more secrets.

[ she pauses, there. a question, clearly weighing on her mind. and she shifts her weight, slightly, to turn. to look at him, properly, hair framing her face, her knee touching his just the slightest amount, eyes boring into his. ]

I knew you would come for me. You would figure it out. You always do. [ she pauses, again. ] But where did you get the money, Kaz?

[ it's soft. not accusing, necessarily. and she may already know the answer. but she wants to hear it from him. ]