( for: kaz. )
Sep. 19th, 2018 06:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wraithes[ inej felt exhausted, but pleasantly warm, wrapped in what felt like the softest blankets and a warm wool coat draped over her body. the collar was tucked right against her face, and when she inhaled, it smelled familiar.
darkness, peppermint. a faint hint of licorice. salt, from the waters of the canals. kaz.
she had been too cruel to him. selfish, to herself. some part of her refused to feel bad about that, but when kaz brekker had looked at her, on that island, she knew why. she was what he did not want to lose. she was the thing to be protected. not wylan, jesper. nina, matthias. her. and that thought stirred something within her, a fierce protectiveness.
she needed to get back to kaz . . . but had kaz already found her?
that thought caused her to blink, slowly. her body ached. what had happened? had she escaped van eckt? . . . van eckt. that name caused her to stir, to force her eyes awake, but her body refused to move. trapped, in this perfect nest of warmth. wrapped up in whatever kaz . . .
wait, why did she have kaz brekker's coat? --
her eyes scanned the room, vision slightly blurred. it was a strange room, not hers, not kaz's. not particularly nice, so not the white rose . . . were they even in kirsch? and why did she have kaz's coat? was it kaz's coat?
stiff arms began to move, as she willed it. to pull the coat further down her body, to dig through the pockets, to where she knew he kept his secrets. but the coat was empty, save for a few pieces of loose paper and some change. predictable, inej thought in aggravation. of course the bastard of the fucking barrell would empty his coat before draping it over her for warmth.
somehow, she no longer regretted being blunt with him before her capture. but as emotionally inept as kaz brekker was, he had somehow managed to save her. again. ]
Kaz?
[ she tried to call out, but her voice was a whisper, and she forced herself to sit up just a bit, to get a better look around the room. where was he? ]
darkness, peppermint. a faint hint of licorice. salt, from the waters of the canals. kaz.
she had been too cruel to him. selfish, to herself. some part of her refused to feel bad about that, but when kaz brekker had looked at her, on that island, she knew why. she was what he did not want to lose. she was the thing to be protected. not wylan, jesper. nina, matthias. her. and that thought stirred something within her, a fierce protectiveness.
she needed to get back to kaz . . . but had kaz already found her?
that thought caused her to blink, slowly. her body ached. what had happened? had she escaped van eckt? . . . van eckt. that name caused her to stir, to force her eyes awake, but her body refused to move. trapped, in this perfect nest of warmth. wrapped up in whatever kaz . . .
wait, why did she have kaz brekker's coat? --
her eyes scanned the room, vision slightly blurred. it was a strange room, not hers, not kaz's. not particularly nice, so not the white rose . . . were they even in kirsch? and why did she have kaz's coat? was it kaz's coat?
stiff arms began to move, as she willed it. to pull the coat further down her body, to dig through the pockets, to where she knew he kept his secrets. but the coat was empty, save for a few pieces of loose paper and some change. predictable, inej thought in aggravation. of course the bastard of the fucking barrell would empty his coat before draping it over her for warmth.
somehow, she no longer regretted being blunt with him before her capture. but as emotionally inept as kaz brekker was, he had somehow managed to save her. again. ]
Kaz?
[ she tried to call out, but her voice was a whisper, and she forced herself to sit up just a bit, to get a better look around the room. where was he? ]
casually comes up with an au-ish future???
Date: 2018-09-20 03:14 pm (UTC)( and that was wholly because of what he saw when he closed his eyes - inej, falling. inej's limp body, carried away. )
he had been presented with another impossible task, another impossible quest, but this time it was different. this time, there was more than money on the line. kaz brekker had invented a new trick, kaz brekker had done the impossible (again). dirtyhands did what he had to do, and if it had pulled apart half of ketterdam, well. no one truly from ketterdam would miss that half too too much. the details of the process were complicated, moments and favors and fears all falling into place in the exact right way, at the exact right time. it worked, van eckt was dead, and inej.
inej was safe.
they were in a safehouse, outside of ketterdam but not so far that kaz couldn't keep an ear to the ground. truthfully, he shouldn't have left the city, but he wasn't about to let any more harm come to inej, and by ensuring that, they needed to get out. to leave. to disappear, before anyone else got any ideas. it was small, a room at the top of a halfway decent inn, right along the coact but much further south, much much further. getting there had been difficult, but mattias had been just as eager to get nina somewhere safe for her to continue to fight off her withdrawl. they were on the first floor, tucked into a room that had been meant for the four of them, but kaz hadn't wanted inej near anyone, that possessive, angry, dark part of him just wanting her to be safe, and for kaz, safe usually meant alone.
( alone, and with his wraith. the wraith. inej. )
now, she was sleeping - set up in the corner of this attic room, on a small bed that was still larger than her lithe frame, blankets tucked around her and under kaz's coat. he, on the other hand, had been near the door, sitting on the first step of a set that led down to the only entrance to the room, elbows on his knees and fingers darting against each other. his mind wouldn't slow, couldn't slow, but all that was left to do now was wait.
the sound of her voice had almost made him jump, barely above a whisper but as loud as church bells. kaz turned, his cane clattering against the top step as he knocked it from where it had been resting on his knees, his eyes wide. ]
Don't move. [ he says, moving himself into a standing position and making his way over to her. his leg ached, a kind of pain he hadn't felt in years, but he limped over in spite of it. ] I haven't found a grisha, yet, I haven't had you looked at. You could- [ he pressed his lips together, realizing he was babbling a bit too late to stop it, coming to a pause a few feet from her - awkward, and tense, but so incredibly relieved he didn't quite know what to do.
there is an uncomfortable silence that follows, while kaz struggled to find the words - to find any words. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-09-20 08:23 pm (UTC)but the appearance of said clumsy boy causes a warmth to appear in her chest. relief, knowing that her (idiot) protector was nearby, and also relief to know that he seemed to be in one peace. the raspy voice ordering her not to move causes a slight sigh to escape her lips, but inej complies, stilling as kaz approaches and . . . stops.
distant, always distant. always, always distant. no coat, but still wearing his gloves. obviously nervous, given his word-vomit. uncomfortable, with her being like this. but he's here, which means that she is safe. for the most part. ]
Sit with me.
[ finally, softly, and she pats the edge of her bed, her eyes flickering once toward his leg before refocusing on kaz's face. and, before he can argue, inej continues: ]
I cannot keep an eye on the door with your head in the way.
[ but the comment is said with a faint smile, pulling his coat back over herself, to ward off an invisible chill. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-09-20 09:05 pm (UTC)( because she had wanted so much from him - a gentler, better version - and what he'd resorted to to bring her back couldn't have been further from it )
still, she beckons for him to sit with her, and he finds himself unable to deny her request, limping the couple of steps over to the bed and setting on it. they are sitting about a foot or so apart, but the space feels much wider. inej smiles, faint and soft, and something seizes in kaz's chest. a feeling he'd had back on the boat, before they even left ketterdam. a feeling of what could have been lost. he takes a slow breath, looking over her and seeing the way she pulls his coat more tightly around her shoulders, before his rasps out a quiet- ]
How are you feeling? [ a beat, and then his eyes move to the ground, where his feet meet wood. he feels...what. guilty? that she is once again in this place because of him? because of what happened? or was there more to the complicated tightening behind his ribs? ]
no subject
Date: 2018-09-20 11:46 pm (UTC)instead, inej takes it upon herself to push herself closer, once she sees kaz focusing on the floor. she truly doesn't do it to make him uncomfortable; instead, she rests her forehead against his shoulder, exhaling slowly as she uses him for a support. ]
Will you do me a favor? The next time we're . . . screwed over by another impossibly rich and influential monster.
[ ignoring his question, closing her eyes to focus on the feeling of his shoulder ignoring the pain in his ribs. ]
Look at Jesper; it is his turn to get stabbed.
[ a morbid joke. meant to indicate that she is fine. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-09-22 02:05 pm (UTC)( he did not want to talk about what he knew, did not need any confirmation from her one way or another that the rumors were true, or based on truth. you can only kill a man so many ways. )
as she grows closer to him, kaz feels himself tense, though the pressure of her forehead on his shoulder is a. welcome one. it is, and even if that comes to a surprise to him, he doesn't so much as move. he barely breathes, even through her soft laugh. soft, warm, alive. ]
We're running out of impossibly rich monsters, actually.
[ a shoddy attempt at a somewhat joke, which is used directly to avoid the deep, heavy, angry part off him that knew this was all his fault. that there had been a slip, on his part, and that was the sole reason she was here in this situation at all.
inej probably knows, though. she has that innate ability to see directly through even the most microscopic shift in his raspy voice. ]
I will... [ still, this hits a little too close to a part of kaz he's still ashamed came up at all, and he coughs lightly to pull himself from the thoughts. ] I will consider that, next time.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-22 08:38 pm (UTC)why. she, of all people, should be afraid of people touching her. she should hate it the most. and she does, to a certain extent. certain things bother her. certain comments. and inej made herself promise, a long time ago, to never allow any man (or woman, for that matter) to take advantage of her again. but kaz feels different. it's a different tension, a different level of comfort, or lacktherof.
what happened to this boy that made him so broken.
still, inej draws in a breath and lifts her head from his shoulder, fingers gently smoothing out a wrinkle in his sleeve before maintaining the distance once more. her entire body aches, and inej knows she should go back to sleep. but she also knows kaz has been waiting here for her to wake up, judging from the circles underneath his eyes and the out-of-character wrinkles in his shirt. his lack of cane at his side.
awkwardly sitting on her bed like (and it hits her with an odd warmth in her chest) an out of touch teenage boy.
she decides, then, to carefully unfold her legs, to stretch them, scooting to the edge of the bed to sit next to kaz properly, letting her own feet touch the floor. it causes an exhale, from the effort, but sitting up to talk to him makes inej feel like more of his equal, and less a helpless little girl waiting for her knight in shining armor. ]
Next time. [ she breathes. ] We barely survived this time. I barely survived this time.
[ but in saying that, inej knows it will only make kaz feel worse, and so she drops her hand next to his own. not touching him, but offering it to him, if he wants to hold it. and she's quiet, for a long moment, sorting through her thoughts. through the ache in her ribs. ]
He asked a lot of questions about you. [ read: they tortured her. ] I answered none of them. [ would that make him feel better? likely not. inej isn't sure, anymore, what makes kaz brekker happy. she supposes she never did. but business is easy to focus on, and easy to talk about. ] I only told them that you would come for me, and there would be hell to pay for breaking a deal with Kaz Brekker. He laughed in my face and told me that Kaz Brekker had no more tricks. No more money. No more secrets.
[ she pauses, there. a question, clearly weighing on her mind. and she shifts her weight, slightly, to turn. to look at him, properly, hair framing her face, her knee touching his just the slightest amount, eyes boring into his. ]
I knew you would come for me. You would figure it out. You always do. [ she pauses, again. ] But where did you get the money, Kaz?
[ it's soft. not accusing, necessarily. and she may already know the answer. but she wants to hear it from him. ]